"But the fact that there IS a body – this was the first big experience for me. I realize that I have a body!"

At the beginning I had two reasons for taking this course:

The first reason I took this class. I have many clients coming to me with eating problems, which were beyond my experience. So these classes for me felt like they could be the completion of something I wanted to give to my clients.

This was the first surprise:

Before this class, I felt a limit in working with people that came to me with “physical problem” as for example being too thin etc. I knew I couldn’t take them deep enough, I felt I was missing something. ”

Something in me would say, “I don’t know how to help them because I’m not that thin!” I thought that I can’t help my client if I didn’t first experience somehow that problem myself.

But through these classes I realized it is not like that. I know now that I just have to CONNECT.

Through this connection we do together I am experiencing that the connection with the other person’s part or the whole situation is enough to give to that person an insight, and in myself to find through empathy, through presence, everything that is needed. It is easy to give him or her something to help him or her out.

The second reason I took this class. I was tired of the yo-yo feeling I had with my body and dieting/not dieting – and it was really HEAVY for me not being able to enjoy food for what it was but only as a problem.

I’ve tried to work it out with all the instruments I had but... it was hard work and little results.

So this class came and I thought, “OK, that’s the solution, somebody else will tell me how to do it. I am tired of trying to find out myself.”

It was so different from my expectations!

In the beginning in particular, it was just about finding out my relationship with my body.

But the fact that there IS a body – this was the first big experience for me. I realize that I have a body! And that it can be aware of ITSELF.

Second was very specially the relationship that the food in my life has with my childhood, which I was sure at first was connected with one of my parents. But it wasn’t – For me the truth of it was a real surprise.

The last discovery was that I finally realized that I wasn’t looking at my body as me – I was looking at my body with somebody else’s eyes. I did that for 46 years. It was really a surprise because I didn’t know I had MY eyes, as I didn’t know I had MY body. 

The group itself was really important.

The fact that you CAN see yourself through the other person’s eyes – you’re trusting this process for sure – but when you have this special relationship with your partner – somehow, you have to have that space of presence between you and that person. Because then you realize that actually YOU have eyes, and it’s a big realization.

Being able to work with your tangles, with your parts – that’s a big step. But going through this process with another person is easier – and it avoids working years and years with something.

I think that was a really important part of this class. We in this group started being the “we here” that could be here for all the parts.

Luisa Toriggia
Focusing Trainer and Coordinator
Gorizia, Italy